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Confessions of a Former Food Addict

How is it that I’ve eaten half a bag of kettle-cooked BBQ potato chips, and I only came to get a cup of water? That helpless feeling you experience every time food calls is crippling your resolve to lose weight. Maybe fasting can help with that! Those are not entirely secret but also not fully disclosed meals in the car when you are alone; yeah, maybe fasting can help with that. You know what the doctor said about your blood pressure being too high and your numbers landing you in the “off the chart” category? You already know what I’m…


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I sat watching the darkness recede as golden rays peeked through my living room blinds. Unfortunately, golden light mingled with tears made it hard for me to see the scriptures on my screen.

My sleeve was tear-soaked as I tried to get my emotions under control.

“God, I hate food addiction!”. I whispered. “It’s a dirty thief, and the world seems to push it in all of its junk food glory.

As a former food addict, I know the pain of feeling trapped in the grip of excess flesh and cravings.

It’s taken me decades to fight my way out…


On The Road to Recovery

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Highs:

Tears of fear and gratitude escaped a time or two. Isolation in my bedroom away from my kids was rough. My teenage son sitting on the floor outside my bedroom door recounting the day’s events; priceless. Some of my closest friends coordinated meals so I could heal and my kids would have a delicious dinner. My daughter delivered food outside our door. Both kids cleaned and laundered like bosses. I hate being sick. But knowing I have the world’s best support system in place, gave me peace through it all. I love my tribe!

Lows:

Recovery has its own pace. I’m…


Hope for chronic fear

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Worry Wars?

Stop worrying they said. It will be fine, another chimed. My friends always stand at the ready with an enthusiastic, “Everything will work itself out. Stop worrying”.

I get what everyone is trying to do: which is put my mind at ease. But, I know too much. Most of us past elementary age realize everything will not always turn out fine. Life can suck! Grandma can still die of cancer no matter how much or how little you worry.

Attacked by Fear

The mirror was completely misted over from my extra long shower. I needed to inspect my face. Seriously, how long can…


Month 2.3 Update: My Sickness & Health

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Highs:

I’m grateful I set out on this journey of health because…

Lows:

I have COVID! I started showing symptoms midweek and got the official diagnosis on Saturday. It’s been a rough few days for my family and me. My teens are living on freezer meals and instant foods. I have a growing and abiding affection for delivery drivers and personal shoppers. The ability to quarantine wouldn’t be possible without them.

Real Life

I cared very little about losing or gaining weight this week. I do miss making coffee, going for long walks, and showering without becoming winded.

This week next week I’m streamlining…


January 2021 Month 2.2 Update

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Highs:

I made it through the holidays with my joy intact and minimal weight gain.

Lows:

Getting back on track was hard! As I transitioned back to my whole foods, healthy eating plan, my sugar addiction kicked into full gear. I wanted sugary treats every day, all day. My cravings felt overwhelming at times. At one point, I became so desperate, I made a single serving of fat-free pudding and inhaled it. Just so you know, that didn’t help- at all!! No addict ever feels satisfied with just a little bit! So, I turned to God and prayed. I prayed to have…


2.1 Month Update

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Highs:

Christmas was beautiful and bittersweet. I loved spending it at home with my husband and children. We exchanged gifts, stayed up way too late, and woke up far too early. I made all of our holiday favorites and a few new ones. I ate without fear and lived in the moment.

Spending part of Christmas Eve and day in our family Facetime group chat was weird and wonderful. I ached to hug my mother, sisters, nieces and brother-in-law. At times I felt myself starring so hard at their beautiful faces, wishing I could make them appear in the flesh. …


2 Month Update

Highs:

The holiday season of gifts, gabs and grub is here and I’m not afraid! As a Christian who celebrates Christmas in a faith focused fashion, this time of year holds special meaning for me. My days are typically spent reflecting on Advent, buying gifts, and baking expressions of love, laced in butter.

I adore this season but hate gaining weight from my holiday indulgences. This year I am not afraid. I feel empowered by having a plan in place. I have absolutely no intentions of dieting my way through. I will, however, have foods at my disposal that I can…


Week 7 Update!

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Highs:

I feel amazing and I’m losing weight each week!!! Say what?!?! I do wonder why this commonsense way of eating has eluded me for so long. Grocery shopping is easier, and recipes are pretty simple. Most of my foods are whole from the earth, made better with spices, kind of foods. I love it!

Lows:

I experienced very few lows, save for a lack of broccoli when I ran out mid-week. I did find myself weighing more often to see if I was making progress. Knowing I’m so close to entering the 150’s made me curious and impatient.

Real Life

My dietary needs…


Week 6 Update: I want sugar!

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Highs:

Baby, I’m back! It felt awesome to go on vacation, eat delicious food, and return home to the safety of my plan. I planned for my return by freezing some soup and having salad fixings on hand for dinner that evening. This made my choice to eat healthy so much easier.

Lows:

The only low I experienced this week was craving more sweets. I wanted sweets in the worst way. I blame it on my high pie consumption. Lesson learned! I ate more fruit to curb my sweet tooth and reduce my consumption of processed sugars. This helped some. …

Kim Jagwe

Kim Jagwe, lover of the written word and COO of Sowl Studios. I’m an eternal dream chaser and encourager of people! My home is www.kimjagwe.com

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